Boy Columnist, aka as Larry Dale Keeling, of Lexington Herald-Leader fame, is showing symptoms of ingesting too much BushBerry Jam, or at least getting it all over his hands and allowing it, like mustard gas in WWI, to infiltrate his system through the skin and head straight for his brain. In California, there are rules and regulations for handling bushberries, in which are categorized as members: the Blackberry, Blueberry, Cranberry, and Raspberry genuses. One either obeys these requirements or suffers the consequences, among which can be a certain withering process. Boy Columnist has been infatuated with – and perhaps afflicted by – Blackberry Jam, with respect to the guv in Frankfort. From this bushberry alone, his brain may already be devolving into a state of disrepair.
In a recent blog, BC wrote: Last week wasn't one of Dubya's better ones. He was forced to cry "Uncle!" on torture, got sand kicked in his face on the unpatriotic Patriot Act, got outed for approving warrantless domestic spying and was portrayed by Newsweek as being in a bubble with no connection to the outside — i.e., real — world. I see Bush resorted to the politician's typical knee-jerk reaction when caught doing something naughty. Oh dear! A statement of this degree of angst and profound discomfiture is a certain indication that BC is dangerously close to the most serious symptom of BushBerry-Jam incursion, known as Bushwhacked Literary Angst that Homogenizes Erratic Rantings, referred to as a matter of convenience by its acronym, BLATHER, otherwise defined dictionary-wise as “to talk foolishly at length.” To spare BC the length aspect of the definition, the rest of his scream will go unprinted here.
The result of all the terrible things mentioned by BC as contributing to the president’s not having a “better” week has been a pronounced spike upward in his job approval ratings, so if the president cried “Uncle” it seems not to have been heard anywhere except in BushBerry land, where Boy Columnist has his ear to the ground (where there was no sound) and his hand in the BushBerry jar…the brain-withering process hopefully just in early stages. As for the torture question, maybe one out of 10,000,000 citizens takes it seriously and, whether magnanimous or not, couldn’t care less. The BlueBerry (another Bushberry) Jam that BC and the other democrats have been inflicting upon themselves by whining about torture is mere campaign fodder for 2006 – those poor terrorists whose only crime has been killing 3,000 civilians on 9/11 simply must be fed sirloin goat and not have their prayer-rugs pointed in the wrong direction by mischievous Marines.
Now…about that sand kicked in Dubya’s face. The Patriot Act will be passed. The minority of senators opposing it by exercising filibuster will have to answer to their constituents, who will be reminded on a daily basis by the administration of just who they are and what’s at stake…as well as the fact that no further terrorist attacks have emanated from bin Laden or Saddam or Saud or the Iranian president or the Syrian thug or any other Islamic idiot-despot preaching “Paradise for the hara-kiri disemboweled Martyrs.” BC doesn’t realize what the folks in California know, namely, that brains turn to sand when afflicted by those pernicious Bushberries.
About that warrantless domestic spying!!! The prexy has said he didn’t do it and won’t do it again. That should be good enough for everyone, but just in case it isn’t, he seems to have his position perfectly hedged, i.e., that the appropriate members (including high-profile democrats) of Congress have been in on things right from the start, not that anybody’s liberty was ever threatened, in the first place. These guys do not want the publicity of a hearing. More to the point, Bush made it emphatically clear in the press conference that the methods have been legal, and, more importantly, that nothing will change. Pathetic figures like Senator Rockefeller, who seems to be claiming that he just didn’t understand what he was being told, is either exhibiting a unique ignorance or figures that the politics are on his side. Actually, who cares? It’s common knowledge that warrants for quarantine have been sworn out for people suffering from inhaling the fumes of BushBerry Jam, so BC had better be on guard, especially since lawnmower fumes, by his own admission, render him…well…sort of out of it.
Withering of BC’s brain caused by too much BushBerry Jam may be more serious than first thought, considering this statement from the 16 May 2005 issue of Newsweek: Newsweek apologized yesterday for an inaccurate report on the treatment of detainees that triggered several days of rioting in Afghanistan and other countries in which at least 15 people died. The august Newsweek actually published an account of a Koran(s) being flushed down a toilet in Guantanamo, but didn’t say how (kinda hard all at once) and didn’t even present any documents or other evidence supporting a claim so ridiculous as to be laughed to scorn…but at least 15 people died because of this gaffe and no telling how many more were injured seriously. So, Newsweek apologizes. It should have to pay millions to the families of those affected by its LIE…but everyone is directed not to hold the breath until that happens. So…when Newsweek says that Bush is in a bubble – and BC of BushBerry affliction believes it – one may assume that Newsweek is in a bubble…completely isolated, along with its admirer, Boy Columnist, from what’s happening anywhere.
And so it goes.
Jim Clark
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