Obamessiah's Overseas Campaign

The world is probably witnessing a "first in history," at least as far as the U.S. is concerned, to wit, a presidential candidate campaigning in the Middle East and Europe for the highest office in this country. Having announced a foreign relations platform guaranteed to save the world, before he left on this tour, he is now in the process of getting it rubber-stamped by the jihad crowd, whose stock in trade is comprised mainly of stoning bad girls and beheading anyone who takes the name of Mohammad in vain, and the citizens of Olde Europe, who just naturally hate this country and don't give a fig who runs it as long as it can be claimed to be badly done and sends troops to save their bacon when one of their countries does mean things to another(s).

Barack Hussein Obamessiah plans to speak at the Brandenburg Gate and has been told once an hour by his handlers that it's not located in Sioux City, the better for him to know where he is. The word is that he's been practicing John F. Kennedy's famous pronouncement when he spoke in Berlin in 1963: "Ich bin ein Berliner." Getting the hang of speaking German with a New England accent is a bit much, so he'll have to settle for a smooth Hawaiian chant. He might have tried for Ronald Reagan's "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall" proclamation in 1987 when the Gipper spoke in Berlin but that would have been too republican as well as too obvious in terms of what it takes to stand tall and walk the talk…McCain style.

Since the on-scene reporters lack the proper gravitas to understand and describe/interpret such an earth-shaking event, the millionaire news anchors of ABC, CBS, and NBC have all tagged along the better to advance the networks' extensive Obama propaganda machine. They were shut out of the action in Afghanistan (weekend time off), but will get their chance to ooh and aah as the great one deigns to breathe his intellect upon them Jimmy Carter style, complete with grumbling on foreign soil about the monster cowboy from Texas. He will need to practice the Carter smile but be careful not to break his jaw in the process or possibly establish an insulting smirk, something he might have learned from wife Michelle, who smirks about her "mean country" (probably the reason she didn't make the scene).

Obama will feel at home in the Middle East, since he should understand that folks there are just like the paranoid folks he described in Pennsylvania – typical white people (like his grandma) who are suspicious of folks not like them, clutch their Bibles to their hearts and keep their shotguns at the ready. In the Middle East, they keep their beheading swords at the ready, their Korans out of the toilet, and their women covered so nobody can tell what their ethnicity (or measurements) might be, ergo, they will understand B. Hussein, whose middle name probably makes them quiver with the same ecstasy described by MSNBC's Chris Mathews when he mentioned last February that an Obama speech made a "thrill go up his (Matthews' ) leg." TV anchors can be weird in spouting democrat boilerplate but still make millions while their legs do funny things. One wonders if Matthews should see a psychiatrist or a neurologist.

The messiah has two fellow-senator tagalongs in Hagel and Reed, the former a much decorated Vietnam vet and the latter a graduate of West Point and former army officer. This arrangement is probably meant to give Obama some commander-in-chief bona fides, but one wonders if he just needs someone to help him with the when and where and method concerning a possible need to salute. He's already said plainly what he plans to do militarily, so there's actually no need for him to meet with the military on this trip, but the photo-ops are of the utmost importance. Expect to see the senator, who experienced 143 Senate work-days from January 2005 in his first term until announcing for the presidency early last year, eating with the GIs and feigning satisfaction with the food (while probably wondering if his underarm deodorant is working in the 120 degree weather). Thousands have spent years in Iraq/Afghanistan while Obama worked the equivalent of just under five months in the Senate and has been AWOL since February 2007.

The poop about this trip is that Obama must meet with world leaders to learn something about foreign affairs so that he can take his best shot in behalf of the U.S. in making policy decisions. Never mind that foreign-affairs specialists who have been in the business for decades still have problems, he's supposed to incur enough gravitas in a week or so to make him an expert. Actually, Barack probably means to let everyone know that he's a team player and that all he said about that terrible world-trade and anti-globalization stuff was just politics, meant to get elected, not govern. Democrats are one-world-government people but republicans still believe in looking out for this country as a first and foremost consideration. Olde Europe will love Obama, the best reason imaginable for seeing that he's never elected. One wonders if he would be in favor of adopting the euro, and even if he might so indicate (privately, of course) that fact to the French and Germans. Egad!

Elections are always silly seasons, but this one takes the cake, with a candidate campaigning overseas primarily because he has no idea what has been happening overseas. The messiah will be in big trouble if he mentions Sioux City at the Brandenburg Gate.

And so it goes.

Jim Clark