Just carved Ohio River-way
Right out of old Kentucky soil
And then through millions years of boil
Retreated to north latitude
While hillbillies with attitude
Returned from Congo interlude
To dig their coal in gratitude.
United Nations gurus say
That boil again is underway...
The president agrees with that,
Says in the fire is now the fat
Though twenty years the earth has stayed
Away from boil that might have made
Hillbillies grab their coats and flee
To regions near the Arctic Sea.
But not to worry, not to fret,
Real scientists have not said yet
That Earth will soon compete with hell
For regions where its folks can dwell;
The climate matters not at all,
The president now holds in thrall
The ignorant by using it
To make his lies appear legit.
To keep the great unwashed in line
The president must realign
Their thinking so that they depend
Upon the monarch to extend
To them from birth until the end
The gracious privilege to spend
Their time afraid of global fires
They cause by under-pressured tires.
Oh yes...those glaciers...where are they
When prexy needs them every day
To beat hot, humid D.C. heat
Where eggs are fried upon the street?
But that was done in eighteen-nine
When small ice-age was on the line
And global warming was a joke
As is today – just blowing smoke.
So, chill, hillbillies, have no fears,
The prez has just a few more years,
Head not for Arctic or Congo,
He cannot create warming glow,
He tried to shut your coal-mines down
Like one who wears a golden crown –
A monarch with orders...exec,
His governance – one huge train-wreck.
And so it goes.